The View From The Haystack

*Your local source for satire (and snark) about North Bend and the Snoqualmie Valley....

The View From The Haystack - local news satire blog

*Your local source for satire (and snark) about North Bend and the Snoqualmie Valley....

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Opinion: Valley Voices

Showing posts from April, 2022

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City of North Bend Dismisses Rumor That Jeff Bezos Plans To Buy Mount Si

on April 22, 2022

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Tom Douglas Opening New Truck Stop Restaurant Off Exit 34

North Bend will soon have an original take on truck stop cuisine. Flush with cash from a recent pandemic aid package windfall, famed Seattle restaurateur Tom Douglas is opening a new restaurant in Truck Town, just off of I-90's Exit 34. The restaurant will be located in the space vacated by the old Country Pride restaurant, which closed late last year. Douglas could not be reached for comment, but spokesperson Tandy Nicklesen confirmed the plans, “We have been looking at further expansion on the Eastside, so let’s get a little crazy! Everyone knows about Tom Douglas’ success in inventing overly extravagant gourmet pizza with his Serious Pie restaurants. Now he is going to bring his creativity and restauranting skills to a food genre never before fully examined - truck stop food.” Tannerwood resident Bill Chambers is looking forward to having a fine dining option in North Bend, "I’m eager for the chance to overpay for an over-thought, reimagined ch...

Bigfoot Found – Was Living in Unfrequented Antique Shop This Whole Time

Many North Bend residents and Sasquatch aficionados are excited with the recent news that Bigfoot has been discovered. They are also confronting themselves with the realization that he has been living here in a dilapidated antique shop this whole time. In an exclusive interview, Bigfoot explained the chain of events leading to his discovery. “I was really hankering for some Subway, but my DoorDash app stopped working last Tuesday. Without a delivery option, I decided to head out in public for the first time in many decades. On my walk over to Subway, people kept pointing and taking photos. I was quite surprised by all the fuss. Sometimes a craving for a Chicken Caesar Wrap can change everything.” Bigfoot explained he has been living in North Bend for decades, enjoying the beautiful scenery and idyllic views that the Snoqualmie Valley offers. A frequent off-trail, back-woods hiker, Bigfoot admitted “I always have suffered from some social a...

Headlines from The Needling - Seattle's Only Real Fake News

WTA Unveils Rattlesnake Ledge FastPass

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Mount Si Celebrates Hosting One Millionth Second Date

Living Snoqualmie - Snoqualmie Valley's (Really) Real News

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The View From The Haystack is a parody and news satire website. All articles contained within this website (and on its social media accounts) are fictitious... no matter how believable or similar to real events they may appear. When public figures or actual businesses are mentioned by name, the corresponding story details are invented. In all other cases, any resemblance to actual persons, businesses, or events is entirely coincidental.